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Impact [13 Reasons Why]

"Once you start talking about it, it get's better."


I've seen multiple opinions of the hit TV Show, 13 Reasons Why. I've heard many perspectives in regard to accepting or condeming homosexuality or other gender dysphoria. I've scrolled through social media accounts and witnessed extremists; extremely for or against something as if this world could possibly be black and white. What I have not seen, in any battle, is unconditional love or the ability to support people in the ways they truly need it. Because everyone is saying "hush" to each other. Ignorance is not bliss.


I just finished a large binge on "13 Reasons Why", the popular TV show meant to bring empathy through vulnerability and the reality of mental health and the people struggling with pain, rejection, abuse and so on. I began this large binge after my best friend died. I wanted to understand but it was too close to home for me, even though she was not only warring against anxiety or depression but also postpartum psychosis. Still, I took a break.





This August, 2019, has been challenging for me. A random trigger electrified nightmares and fear from PTSD throughout my body. I was too tired to keep fighting so I went to my doctor and sought help and support from family, friends, my bosses and professionals (doctors and a psychiatrist). I currently (and temporarily) am prescribed an anti-anxiety medication as well as an anti-depressant. I am also receiving EMDR Therapy to desensitize and reprocess my traumatic experiences. I've spent my life praying, meditating, breathing, socializing and purposed. Not even that was enough considering the trauma I experienced.


Side effects by both EMDR and anti-depressants include headaches. I've been watching this show while trying to rest. I am a Psychology major and completely justice driven, so it's not strange that I'd choose this show over my favorite "I Love Lucy".

As I carried on in my binge, I grasped understanding. I connected with characters and was held accountable myself.


"Once you start talking about it, it get's better."


When we suppress our own pain, it eventually begins to boil. We can never assume how people will respond at their "last straw". It could be with rage, a restart and receive help opportunity or death by suicide, or something self-harming. Suppressing pain or worry, anxiety or simply any real way you're feeling will only make a person feel even more alone. Alone in their agony.

When these people find it hard to find their voice in the matter, they need an example, a superhero, a reason why to avoid struggling alone anymore. I consider Revelation 12:11 and the encouragement to to share your story because it will help others and it can absolutely help you.


"Once you start talking about it, it get's better."


This show and other people's stories of overcoming traumatic events and with support, is powerful. I echo this in the pages of my autobiography, "The Girl Who Cried Forgiveness During the War". Ignorance is not bliss.

I've heard people pray for others to think a certain way suited more to the intercessor's beliefs and convictions. There is something wrong with this picture; the intent could possibly be for the person they are praying for, but maybe its blindly or habitually. Many do it. What I wish was that many would try to understand a situation, a feeling, a motive before deciding they know what it is all about because he or she or the Bible tells me so.


We cannot be shut up anymore. Not for other's comfort, not for the balance of a messed up societal flow, but for the peace of the people enduring such pain.

We live this life once. We make mistakes, we practice forgiveness, we make mistakes again and again and we must seek support. No one will do it if they are being told it's wrong to do or that their faith isn't large enough.


If we stopped thinking about our comfort when someone clearly displays a need for support, perhaps we would see more unconditional love around.


"Once you start talking about it, it get's better."

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Vivia Leigh

Clarity Coach | Author

What is a Clarity Coach? It is Vivia's own title separating her services from life coaching. In your Clarity Sessions, Vivia will meet you where you are without judgement of your situation or personal convictions. Vivia works as a mentor supporting you from her knowledge as a Psychology Major. While she is not yet a licensed therapist, Vivia is gifted in being the bridge standing in the gap between her clients and further support from the appropriate therapy style. 

Many therapists my use Vivia to connect them with more clients who truly need their support from grief therapy, to AA groups, Play Therapy, EMDR, or simply, psychotherapy.

It is Vivia's goal to support you as best as she can while utilizing her worksheets found in THE GIRL WHO CRIED FORGIVENESS. When she feels you need further support, she'll help make that happen, so you can simply recieve.

Based in Leawood, KS

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