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Hurt Travels

Hurt travels. Our response to hurt will trickle. It is up to us to see just how our pain, frustrations, fears and worries will impact our present relationships and situations. When we respond out of a place of frustration, worry, fear or anxiety then our responses are considered irrational, harsh, rude or just "too much." When we respond to our pain and anxieties with a Plan B, we are considered responsible, considerate, slow to anger, patient, kind and wise.


What habit have you formed? Do you take your personal setbacks and allow them to define you and your character? Do you take your personal setbacks and step up to the bat ready to problem solve? What moment in time gives you enough space to consider which route to choose? Will you sit down with me and allow yourself a moment?


In TransparenSEE Podcast, we discuss matters such as this and how to cope with your frustrations and fears positively!

I'm guilty of it, I've been a victim by it and I always need a moment to assure I won't make a habit to be quick to anger and slow to love. Whether that is for me (self-love) or for people (unconditional love). I have been growing as more self aware and I'll admit that I'll always need to take a moment to figure out my reaction before reacting.

When we were kids, new emotions and teachings could frustrate the mess out of us! We'd throw tantrums because we were upset at the unknown or our assumptions, rather than ask questions to gain clarity. We'd wine and pout and call others names because we couldn't quite cope with any disciplinary actions or even lack-there-of. The common denominator between toddler and adult tantrums is that we haven't given ourselves enough time to process the situation at hand.


Hurt travels through time. From one person to another this unwanted heaviness moves from the past, into the present and then into the future. One of the most heroic things anyone can do is break the line of hurt. When one person heals themselves, they stop the hurt from multiplying and their relationships become healthier. When one person heals themselves, they also heal the future. -YP



I felt hurt, concerned, confused and frustrated when my finances didn't match the amount of effort and time and energy I was putting into making myself financially stable. Hurt could have the opportunity (in this situation) to put blame on others and claim myself as a victim, stuck here because of them.


Immediate Victim Mentality |A Negative Response to Frustration| My parents didn't teach me, my teachers taught me things that don't actually support my daily life, my boss doesn't pay me enough.

Taking a Moment to think Critically |A Positive Response to Frustration|

Finances and budgeting are my weakness, I need support and a mentor to help develop a better system. I can learn. I need more hours of work and to reevaluate my bills and job situation.


Negative Scenario: Puts the blame on others prohibiting your growth and ability to change the situation you're complaining about.

Positive Scenario: Puts the responsibility onto yourself allowing you to access more opportunities for positive change rather than camping in complaint; you can change your situtation!

This person is trying to take advantage of me and I'm waiting for her to pounce. She has been doing this for years and I've finally caught on and placed boundaries. Now, a new friend I thought I could trust is acting just like her. I'm agitated and frustrated at the types of people I'm allowing into my life.


Immediate Victim Mentality |A Negative Response to Frustration| I'm going to yell at this woman and tell her she's just like my worst example of a friend. I'm going to tell all of my friends to avoid this reminder of a woman because she is just the worst and not considerate. I'm going to make her feel righteously bad for how she's been the worst friend.

Taking a Moment to think Critically |A Positive Response to Frustration|

I'm noticing that some of the relationships in my life have been with selfish people who wish for me to do all the work while they reap the benefits of a kind and naive woman they treat like a little girl. I need to create boundaries around these types of people, recognize them and assure I only accept people into my life who are for me and not against me, wholeheartedly. I will only accept new friendships that do not need something from me in order to be my friend. I will teach people how to treat me by standing firm in my boundaries.


Negative Scenario: Gossips about the person and gives so much time and energy to someone who couldn't care less about you, apparently. Spends more time on payback than with friends who love well and don't take advantage of you.

Positive Scenario: Puts the responsibility onto yourself to put up healthy boundaries and reevaluate the types of relationships to accept and to keep at a distance. In taking this responsibility, you learn how to be an even better friend to those that are good friends in your life. This other unhealthy and toxic relationship does not take all your space. It just does not get your time.



Is your response to personal setbacks projecting onto others negatively? Stop the pain. Message Vivia Leigh for your 20 minute complimentary Clarity Coaching session or interview to discuss this subject with the TransparenSEE Podcast!



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Vivia Leigh

Clarity Coach | Author

What is a Clarity Coach? It is Vivia's own title separating her services from life coaching. In your Clarity Sessions, Vivia will meet you where you are without judgement of your situation or personal convictions. Vivia works as a mentor supporting you from her knowledge as a Psychology Major. While she is not yet a licensed therapist, Vivia is gifted in being the bridge standing in the gap between her clients and further support from the appropriate therapy style. 

Many therapists my use Vivia to connect them with more clients who truly need their support from grief therapy, to AA groups, Play Therapy, EMDR, or simply, psychotherapy.

It is Vivia's goal to support you as best as she can while utilizing her worksheets found in THE GIRL WHO CRIED FORGIVENESS. When she feels you need further support, she'll help make that happen, so you can simply recieve.

Based in Leawood, KS

Currently meeting via phone calls and video chats as to follow COVID protocol.

 

Appointment only, made via email:

vivialeigh.books@gmail.com

Introduction Session: $50 

Hourly Sessions: $75

Payments non-refundable,

with a $50 cancellation fee.

Payable via Venmo upon scheduling

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